Snow

Home Sweet Home

Good evening my friends.

While Winter Storm Hercules rages outside, dumping inch upon inch of snow on my driveway, I’m inside and thinking about all the awesome snow themed horror stuff out there.

Gotta start with the Shining.  Yep.  Book, movie, miniseries, and the new, excellent sequel novel “Doctor Sleep.”  It seems like the Stanley Kubrick film version is either a love it or hate it affair; personally I love it.  It’s weird, and slow, and there are no easy answers.  Over the years I really grew to love this movie, and it is the perfect watch for a chilly evening like this one.

Next lets talk about The Thing.  You’ve got John W. Campbell Jr.’s 1938 tale “Who Goes There?,” the 1951 film “The Thing from Another World,” John Carpenters inimitable “The Thing” and it’s recent prequel, cleverly titled “The Thing.”  That isn’t to mention a bunch of comic books, fan stories, and a 2004 video game.  Set in either the north or south pole (depending on the adaptation), this chiller basically follows a group of researchers trapped with an alien creature that may be able to impersonate any other crew member.  If you want some paranoia with your snow, check out Carpenter’s beyond excellent 1982 film.

“That’s all well and good,” you might say, “but everyone has seen the Shining and The Thing!”  Fear not, good reader, I have some wintery gems yet to uncover.

Devil Times Five.  Oh yeah.  You know how bad the Devil is?  Imagine that, but five times as bad.  That’s pretty bad.  In this flick a group of school children are stranded in the snowy wilderness and come across a group of adults shacked up for a long weekend in a large house.  Mayhem ensues.  Also Boss Hogg is in this movie, and that is pretty sweet if you ask me.  Oh, and someone is turned into a human snowman.  And bear-traps are employed liberally on a human body.  This movie is pretty bleak though, the ending kind of infuriated me.  But hey, watching this is better than shoveling snow right?

Ooohhhh them Duke boys!

Pictured: Better than shoveling snow.

Do you feel like some Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing?  Would you like a little Telly Savalas thrown in there too?  Also, would you rather it be produced by a Spanish company and not Hammer for some inexplicable reason?  Well then my friend, Horror Express is your ticket.  Mustachioed scientist Christopher Lee digs up some weird frozen alien in Manchuria and decides to transport it home to England via the Tran-Siberian Express.  Said monster unfreezes, murders passengers, drinks their memories and leaves them with smooth, unwrinkled brains (!!!!).  It’s up to Lee, Cushing, and Telly Freaking Savalas to stop it.

Who loves ya, baby?

Who loves ya, baby?

Do you like Yetis?  Who doesn’t?  It’s like Sasquatch and a Polar Bear had a love child, and now that creature is terrorizing a ski resort in 1977!  Yes, Snowbeast is next.  This made for TV horror flick features …. get this …. a Yeti terrorizing a ski resort in 1977.  It’s up to our heroes to bring this fierce creature to justice before any more winter sports enthusiasts are torn limb-from-limb.  Watch for the scene where the Yeti rolls a bunch of logs onto a camper!

Ahhhh my face parts!!!

Ahhhh my face parts!!!

Here is a new one:  Donner Pass (2012).  I caught this on Netflix a bit ago and hey, you know what … it wasn’t too bad!  A group of high school kids go up to a remote cabin near Donner Pass.  People are murdered.  That sounds pretty formulaic I know, but it’s actually a pretty tight little thriller.  What kind of made it for me was the ending.  Not to give anything away, but I liked the bit when you find out who the killer is and their motivations.  Good atmosphere, decent story, decent acting.  Check it out.

White after Labor Day is a big faux-pas!

White after Labor Day is a big faux-pas!

I’m not sure if I’m the type cut out to enjoy “extreme” activities.  I think it’s really great that people have gone to the bottom of the ocean, or explored cave systems WAY to small for me to fit in, or surfed the biggest waves, or climbed K2.  That stuff is amazing, but not really for me.  So, without further ado … Killer Mountain.  This was made for the … sigh … SYFY channel, so you know its …. good?  watchable?  a movie?  Yeah that will work.  So a group of mountain climbers climb a mountain.  And there are monsters.  Yep.  Still, we have determined that this is “a movie” so why not check it out!

Emmanuelle Vaugier is in this movie and dammit, that's reason enough to post this picture!

Emmanuelle Vaugier is in this movie and dammit, that’s reason enough to post this picture!

Well, looks like that snow is starting to pile on pretty good about now, and I’ve got to lay down some salt.  There are soooooooooooo many more winter themed horror flicks out there it would be impossible to talk about them all.  Or would it?  One day I may try.  Anyway, curl up with one of these and you are sure to keep cool.

I'm sure Kubrick did like 90 takes of this shot.  I love that they went with this expression.

Stay frosty my friends

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